Eva is 39 years old, and the mother of Zuzana and Lenka. Now 9 months old, Lenka was born in 2021 while the UK was in partial lockdown.
During the lead-up to Lenka’s birth, like 1 in 5 mothers, Eva experienced mental health issues during the perinatal period.
Eva talks to us about experiencing a miscarriage, the fraught experience of pregnancy during a global crisis, and the moment she finally decided to seek help.
Experiencing Miscarriage
“I was four months into my first pregnancy when I miscarried. It threw my emotional wellbeing completely – I was not okay. I didn’t know where to look for help.
“Miscarriage affects how you see the world.”
I was envious of other pregnant women and when a friend of mine told me she was pregnant, I found I couldn’t even see her. We really wanted a baby, so we kept trying despite the loss. When I finally fell pregnant with Zuzana (my eldest child). The fears hadn’t gone away, but in fact got so much worse knowing it could happen again. I knew there were support groups available for mums who had previously lost a baby, and I started attending to try to ward off my worries.
When Zuzana was born, it felt like a closed chapter. The support group had helped, Zuzana was born without any problems.
Lockdown Pregnancy
In lockdown, I fell pregnant again (with Lenka). In my third trimester, I started having night terrors - woken by visions of a stillborn child, or nightmares in which I would die while giving birth. The lockdown meant that the support group I had used before to help me during my last pregnancy was unable to meet.